This has been one rough week if I am being completely honest. So much stress, so much doubt, and it seems like it's just one thing after the other. The cherry on top of this ridiculous sundae came last night while I was at Target. I wasn't at my local Targhetto, I was at a different one. I rounded a corner and saw my rapist. I turned around and walked away but it was too late. He had already seen me.
I kept walking, but he followed me and started talking. He said I ruined his life, that his parents won't speak to him and that he should have gotten rid of me while he had the chance. He asked if I was listening and reached for my arm which is when I jumped out of the way and gave in to the anger that had been steadily boiling inside of me. I said " DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME. I ruined your life? What do you think you did to me!? I heard you and I have nothing to say to you anymore. Leave me alone." Which is when the police were called by some employees. I was informed that since I didn't have a restraining order there was nothing that could be done. I called today and asked for one and they said since he posed no physical threat I couldn't get one.
Once again the system has failed me, and once again I'm left trying to pick up the pieces. It shook me to the core, that interaction. I couldn't sleep last night, I'm losing my appetite again and my brain has somehow convinced itself that he is going to figure out where I am and murder me.
I really just want him to leave me alone. Also I would like to sleep. But most importantly I want to be left alone.
Oh, really? YOU ruined HIS life? Boo fucking hoo.
ReplyDeleteDon't go by what the cops tell you. There is such a thing as an implied threat by contact. On that basis,a good attorney should be able to get a judge to issue a restraining order against this douchebag. If you can't afford an attorney, find the rape victim advocate for your court jurisdiction and see what they can do for you. They should be able to petition the court on your behalf and/or get you pro bono help.
Saying that he should have gotten rid of you should be counted as a threat. I'm praying justice will be done.
ReplyDeleteI echo Laura. Call the cops - if you have a contact from your case, call that one, or ask RAINN to put you in touch with a victims advocate in your area. Him saying that he should have "gotten rid of you" IS a threat. Don't stop talking until someone listens. If one door slams, knock on the next one. If none of that works, call the media and ask to remain anonymous.
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