22

"HEY I don't know about you, but I'm feelin' 22..." I love that Taylor Swift song. Describes life perfectly and reminds me of all of the fun memories I've been making with my friends this year! So yesterday I was really sad and mopey and upset. And it was AWESOME.

Yeah, you read that right!

I said.........       awesome. 

So what happened was I met this guy a while back and ended up really liking him. We started talking more and more over the past few months and I just really really liked him.  Well yesterday I found out that  he's been making some life choices that don't sit well with me.  I was so upset.  I told my friends my life was over.  I slept on the couch for most of the day, ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, cried a little, and watched The Lucky One. 

At this point most of you are thinking "what is WRONG with her!? That doesn't sound very awesome at all!" Here's the thing.   For the first time in a year and a half I was upset about things normal 22 year old girls get upset about.

For the first time I wasn't sad because I had been questioned, used, stalked, physically hurt, and mentally tormented.  Nope. I was sad because some guy I thought was cute ended up not being as great as I thought, and preferred bouncing around to different girls instead of hanging out with me. It's funny thinking about how happy I was about this.  My bad mood was not the result of thinking about my rape or dealing with an issue that had to do with my rape.  My bad mood was the direct result of young adult drama, and I'm actually really grateful for it.

I'm grateful that I was reminded that I can be a normal person.  I can have normal emotions.  I can want normal things, and get upset when those things don't work out. I allowed myself to to react to something that was kind of stupid. I let myself be that stereotypical girl who drowns her boy problems in ice cream and chick flicks, and you know what? I really deserved a day like that.

It's nice to be reminded once in a while that you're allowed to get upset about things that aren't life or death.  I'm allowed to focus on me sometimes.  I don't always have to worry about everyone else, and I don't always need to have a serious reason to want to cry.  I'm allowed to cry over stupid things. I'm allowed to dramatically yell that my life is over. I'm allowed to be normal.

So I guess I am a little upset still about everything that happened yesterday. But, I'm so happy that it's something kind of dumb that I'll get over by Wednesday and not something terrible.

Glad I can appreciate all of the ridiculous feelings my 22 year old self has :)