The lights the lights the lights the lights

Why is it that the weekend always goes by so fast? I feel like I've hardly had a chance to relax and breathe! I spent time with Amie and co on Friday night, Whitney and co Saturday night and then worked all day today. And for those of you wondering why I was working on a Sunday....in addition to a full time teaching job I still hold a part time child care job. I know I'm crazy, but I'm so nervous when it comes to money that having that little bit extra makes me feel safe. All of the kiddos I took care of today were wonderful and I actually had fun. I got home and made burrito casserole (I'm so impressed with myself) and now I'm waiting for Once Upon a Time to start. Once my show is over I plan on taking a ride to Greensboro to continue a tradition I started last year which is kind of the whole point of this post.

Last year after having a pretty bad panic attack, I decided to take a drive. I was just going to drive around aimlessly, I had no destination in mind, I just wanted time to clear my head and calm down. So I started off and after a few random turns I ended up in a neighborhood in Greensboro with the most beautiful lights I had ever seen. For those of you who don't live around here I'll describe them as best I can. They're like balls of Christmas lights hanging from trees. Most are round, some are in different shapes and they line the entire street. When I first saw them I pulled over, got out of my car and walked up and down that street for an hour.

This was at a point in my life last year when I was extremely depressed. I was in such a dark place and nothing could pull me out of it....except for these lights. After that first night I would make sure that every evening I would go to Cookout and get an eggnog milkshake, listen to Christmas music and drive up and down the street looking at the lights. I have never had anything impact me quite like this did. These lights brought me so much joy that I would start crying sometimes while I drove because I was so happy. I would be at the apartment miserable, laying around feeling worthless but as soon as I got to this street something in me would just shout "you're ok!" And I would just feel so wonderful tht I would t want to leave.

Those Christmas lights hold such a special place in my heart which sounds so dumb. I think though that this tradition is what got me through one of the toughest Christmas seasons I had ever had. I wouldn't be able to go home for Christmas or see my family and every other part of my life was crumbling. But those nightly drives made me forget about all of those things for a little while.

I will keep up this tradition until the day I die. It's too important a part of me and my history to give up. I don't always go by myself....I dragged my mom when she visited after Christmas last year. It always bothers me though when I tell people about it and they go "oh I should do that too!" No. You shouldn't. Unless you come with me :)

I can't wait to go get my milkshake and take my little trip!