Limits.
We all have them, and sometimes we like to test them.
I'm learning right now that my limits need to be fine tuned and don't always match up with what I think I can tolerate. I've always had a larger than life attitude, and in turn have ignored limits. A girl like me doesn't have limits, right? Wrong. The past few months have brought so much change, struggle, and the knowledge that I have (and need to possess) limitations.
Having a "go, go, go" personality makes it really hard to place limits on yourself. I have a need to be in constant motion. So much so that I forget that I also need rest. There was a week during Christmas break where I scheduled something every day of the week. There was no break, there was no time to rest. Know what the outcome was? I had a complete mental breakdown. There were tears and frustration. My mom had to come stay with me. I was a complete mess. All because I didn't give myself a chance to rest. Dedicating a day out of my weekend where I don't feel obligated to get out of the house and do something is really hard for me, yet has become a necessity. Sleeping 8+ hours a night is a feat I am trying to concur. More than 6 hours a night used to be pushing it, and I'm now realizing in order to function like a normal human being I need to force myself to sleep more. My body craves rest, yet my brain screams that I have to do more. I have physical limits. I need to start listening to what I need in order to thrive.
Emotional limits are also a thing. I've realized lately that I need to start drawing out some emotional boundaries. I am the type of person who hears the troubles and torment of another and will cry along with them. I will take on your emotional pain as if it were my own. Obsess over it. Pray over it. I'll even live it to a point. I learned the hard way that I cannot take on everyone else's emotional baggage. I can still pray for you, I can still love you through your storms, but I have to build those boundaries too. This lesson was learned the hard way when I let someone else's feelings dictate the kind of day I was going to have. This person was so upset about something happening in their life and was telling me all about it while I listened intently trying to figure out how to help. I obsessed over this dilemma. I thought about it ceaselessly. It got to a point where I lost an entire day over this problem, only to have this friend figure it out for themselves in the meantime. I had become so transfixed on their problem that I couldn't see that it was turning into my problem when it never should have. There is no reason I couldn't walk alongside that person, but taking on their every emotion only turned me into a mess and made it impossible for me to be a help to anybody. You can't love other people well when you're spending 24 hours obsessing over how terrible their problem is.
I have never been one to have boundaries. I don't like building walls. I hate saying 'no'. Fortunately, though, I'm learning this lesson while I'm still young. I need to have boundaries. I need to limit myself. It's ok to start saying no to opportunities. It's ok to start saying no to people. It's ok to say no to making plans, to taking on emotional baggage, and to exerting energy when my body is screaming at me to stop. I cannot be the type of person I long to be if I can't start to learn that I have limits. I want to do my job well, I want to love the people around me well. I want to be strong, and full of joy. The only way to do those things is with limits.
Limits don't have to be a negative thing. Boundaries are going.
Recognizing that you have limits is the healthiest thing you can do.
