Important lesson I have learned this week: you are allowed to purge people from your life.
That only took forever and a day to figure out.
If there are people in your life who don't make you a better person, who constantly make you doubt yourself or feel bad about yourself, or who bring constant and unnecessary negativity into your life, then you don't need them.
Don't keep toxic people around because you feel guilty for leaving them behind. Don't keep them around because you're afraid of what they'll say if you walk away. If your friends are not the type of people who will build you up when you're crumbling apart, but only continue to help you crumble, then you don't need them. In fact I cannot fathom why you would even want anyone like that around you.
A friendship is a give and take relationship the way I see it. You should be working to help eachother. You cannot expect complete caring and understanding from one person without being willing to return that care and understanding.
This doesn't apply exclusively to friends, either. This works for family members, coworkers, and anyone else you may cross paths with in your life. You do not need to be surrounded by anyone who makes you feel worthless. You also don't need to be surrounded by anyone who only wants to be around when it's convenient for them. Just because you may have to see these people on a regular basis does not mean you need to be best buds or let them know about every aspect of your life.
Should you still be a kind, caring, compassionate person towards them? Yes. You can still possess all of those qualities, and you can still be a kind person, but don't set yourself up to be manipulated. And don't expect the same treatment in return. I think it hurts less if you don't expect a kind word.
People can be snakes. If you have someone around you who is sweet one minute and then talks about you behind your back the next, bump em. You don't need that. And you don't need to stress about that. Obviously that person has some things they are trying to work through. Worry about how you are treating people and don't worry about how others are treating you. If they aren't treating you right, then steer clear of them. But do not, I repeat, do not let that affect how you treat others. Your choices do not need to be the result of the environment you are in.
I am really sick of seeing good people treated like doormats. Many of those people won't purge the negative relationships out of their life because they feel bad about it. Do not feel bad! Don't feel guilty! For the sake of your own sanity purge out the negativity in your life! Tune out the bad and let the good flow in.
Stop trying to please everyone. It is impossible. Plus there will always be someone who will find something wrong with everything you do. If you are happy with the way your life is going, then keep living it. Don't worry about what other people think about it. If you know you're on the right path, and doing the right thing then don't let negative comments persuade you to change.
With all of this being said, I'm starting to purge people out of my life. Does this mean I never have to see or interact with them again? No it doesn't. It just means I don't have to go out of my way to spend time with them, I don't have to go out of my way to make sure they're happy with what I'm doing, and I don't have to worry about any guilt. Things flow a lot more smoothly when you don't let negative relationships get to you.
DISCLAIMER***Some of you may be reading this after being deleted off of my facebook this weekend. This has nothing to do with you. I deleted anyone who a)doesn't post anything ever and b) I don't interact with online regularly. I see most of you in person and just felt like cleaning out my facebook. It's not a big deal, don't take it personally :)
